Midlife: Overcome the Fear of Starting All Over Again

Age makes a person reconcile himself with his mortality.

As we add up to our years, the arrogance brought about by the organic vigor of our youth simply fades away. Gone were the days when you could still race with your peers climbing up the staircase of your school. The days when you felt that all the strength, all the speed, and all the endurance that life could offer were at your very disposal are now just memories.

Youth made us think that ten or twenty years ahead of us is way too distant. Now, as our physical strengths gradually fade with time, we realize that all those years we have spent were just like yesterday. Life is not that long as we thought.

Approaching the middle of the journey

As we advance with our years, it is very common to question ourselves: where am I now? What have I accomplished so far? With what I have right now, do I still have enough time to achieve my dreams? These lines of questioning can be very common as a person reaches his middle life.

I begin to realize that a person who enters middle age is like someone who has reached the middle of his journey. He begins to look back at the things he has done and the things he has achieved so far. He begins thinking if those he has gained so far would be sufficient enough to bring him towards the final stretch. And if he does not find himself satisfied, he feels that all his life was a waste. It is so tempting to question oneself for underachievement, worse dependence on others when you are expected to have already been stable.

You realize however that time is no longer at your side. You are no longer that young professional who has a lifetime ahead of him and feels like he can just toy around. If you are jobless, competition for the job has become even tougher. The only thing you can bank on over younger, passionate, and idealistic people who want to enter the workforce is the experience you have. Or you think so.

Avoid getting depressed

One of the reasons why people tend to get depressed is when they start focusing on what they do not have instead of what they have.

As we advance in age, we start looking at the achievements of our peers and begin to ask ourselves why we do not enjoy the kind of achievement that they have had. For a midlife person, this is common. If you find yourself struggling to be stable while so many of your former classmates and friends seem to have already occupied juicy positions in life, I believe that the best way to deal with it is to stop comparing yourself with other people.

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Remember this: no person became successful by being too melodramatic. That is unless you are in the field of acting. Certainly, there are people who are in a state of depression and badly need psychological help. That is a different story. My point is this: while you still can, do whatever you can to avoid getting into that crevice called depression.

Begin to write goals no matter how big they are. Rediscover your gifts. Ask yourself: what are my passions in life?

Start counting your blessings and start imagining yourself as the person you would like to be. Take note that image is the root word of imagining. What is your self-image? Are you not a child of God? If you keep on imagining yourself to be a worthless middle age bum, then your mind will find ways to prove that your assumption is correct. Why then should you engage in such a masochistic activity? Why not imagine yourself to be successful instead and thereby compel your mind to find ways of proving that you are successful?

Keep your mind preoccupied

The idle mind is the workshop of the devil. For people who are in their twilight years, the name of the enemy maybe Alzheimer’s disease. For a midlife person, its name could be Depression.

The best way to counter this is to keep our minds preoccupied. Author and Jewish Rabbi Daniel Lapin say that the success of a person is directly proportionate to the number of people that he takes care of – God’s other children. It is therefore imperative that our every waking hour is spent on how we can use our God-given gifts to help improve the welfare of our fellowmen.

Do not be afraid to start all over again if that is what you really need. Set aside your ego. Stop focusing on yourself and begin to look after others. When I was still learning to drive a car, my father used to tell me to look far ahead and don’t focus on the steering wheel. Looking far ahead will make you reach your destination. Being short-sighted can lead you to an accident.

It is good to look for friends who can help pull you up. For all you know, you could be the missing team member that they are looking for to implement a worthwhile undertaking. So don’t be sad. Happiness is something that we create.

Remember the future

The past is over and gone. Let it be that we simply take on the lessons and move forward.

What is important is that we press on to the future. Always keep in mind the person that you would like to be no matter what obstacles you may face. Always remember the future instead of bombarding your mind with the mistakes of yesterday.

Reach for your goals. Believe that you can. And overcome your fears.

Be blessed and be a blessing!

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